How Do Your Children Handle Their Sad Feelings?
Shannon, Your Aromatherapist here. It's been quite a while since I shared my thoughts with the world...the last time I wrote, my mother was in the hospital. She had a three week stay in the hospital. When she arrived her kidneys were only functioning at 10% and I thought I was going to lose her...Mom has been home from the hospital for about 6 weeks now and she is getting better and better each day. I truly am very grateful for another opportunity to shower her with love and appreciation. When she first arrived home, my siblings and I would take turns caring for her, making sure she had 24 hour care. Matter of fact, me and my baby girl are at my mom's as we speak. We spent two nights with her at her place and we will be heading back home in the morning. I love these sleep overs at mom with me and my 10 year old daughter. We get to have 1 on 1 time and many relevant conversations. Yesterday, me and baby girl had a conversation about the differences between sadness and depression. She had an interesting perspective. She shared when one is sad, it is normally a specific event or situation that one can pinpoint that makes one sad. However, when one is depressed, she said, sometimes there is not a reason one can tie to why they are feeling sad or down. She contintued that instead, it's like a feeling that comes over you and you don't always know why. Then she changed her mind. She said depression can also kick in when events in your life that make you sad keep happening...like a relative that may yell at you and cause feelings of insecurity...at times you may not feel emotionally safe, because you may not know when that relative is going to yell or blame you for something, so when they do it, it can bring about great despair because you keep hoping that person will change and when the hurtful behavior keeps occuring, it is a reminder of all of the sad experiences you may have had when interacting with that person or others that bring about those sad feelings. So she concluded, you can be depressed even when you know what is causing the feelings of sadness. In my life, in my daughter's life, we have both experienced challenges with sadness and depression. We were discussing possible ways to manage those feelings when they come. The first step to healing and deliverance is to be aware of how you are feeling, but understand-you do not have to "become" or "give in" to your feelings. After listening to baby girl, it appeared that most of her sad feelings come from her response to the way others are affecting her-those sad feelings come from her wishing that people would speak to her differently or spend more time with her. She described herself as being "demanding." She explained a scenario where although she may have just spent 2 hours with dad, she may want more time or she now may want 2 hours with mom and then 2 hours with big brother. She said, "I know that might be demanding, but sometimes that is what I feel I need." So being aware is key. While awareness is a big first step, it can not end there...Baby girl will be publishing a book very very soon...the title of the books is, "I AM SERENE...It is a book of affirmations to combat the feelings that have made her sad throughout some of the roughest periods of her life.
For the last couple of days, we have been using the draft from the book for me to teach her to check in with herself daily, at least a couple of times a day to start...perhaps upon rising and at the end of the day. Yesterday she assessed, "I am feeling loved!" She also shared I need to feel "more important" and "worthy of saving." After her checking in with her self, we had a discussion of what was causing those feelings. It was a beautiful experience. Stay tuned....until next time. Shannon Johnson, Your Aromatherapist